Just Showing Up Isn’t Enough: Why Our Kids Need More Than Our Presence at Their Events

This week, everywhere I looked—on fields, in bleachers, and along the sidelines—I noticed something. Parents were there, yes. Present in body. But eyes were down, glued to phones. Conversations drifted away from the game. A few had books cracked open or were catching up with friends while their kids ran, scored, or played their hearts out.

And it struck me: just showing up isn’t enough anymore.

Your child looks for your face in the stands. They feel a sense of pride and comfort just knowing you’re there. But let’s be honest: these days, simply being physically present isn’t the same as truly showing up.

Because they notice when you’re not really with them.

They notice when your eyes are on your phone instead of watching them hustle down the field.
They notice when you’re buried in a book while they make that key assist.
They notice when you’re chatting on the sidelines and miss their best play of the season.

And it hurts.

Being there isn’t enough if you’re not engaged. It’s not enough to sit in a chair or stand behind a fence if you’re not watching with intention. You may be able to say you “attended,” but your child will remember whether or not you paid attention.

Our kids deserve more than a passive presence. They deserve focused eyes. Clapping. High fives. Cheering when they run the bases, block a shot, or dive for the ball. They deserve to feel seen—not just physically, but emotionally.

Yes, we’re all busy. Yes, there’s always something tugging at our attention. But these moments? They’re fleeting. One day, they’ll stop looking for us in the stands—not because they don’t care, but because they’ve learned we weren’t really watching anyway.

So why don't we intentionally:

Put the phone away.
Close the book.
Pause the conversation.

Be all in.
Eyes up. Heart open. Fully present.

Let them know—without a single word—that this moment matters. That they matter. Because one day, they’ll look back and remember whether you were actually watching.

Let’s make sure they remember we were.

And to be clear—this isn’t directed at the parents who can’t be there. We see you, too. The ones working long hours, juggling multiple jobs, or handling responsibilities that make it impossible to attend every game or match. This message isn’t about guilt—it’s about awareness. It’s for the parents who can be there, and who do show up—but who may not realize how much their presence, or lack of attention, truly impacts their child. Being there is a privilege. Let’s not waste it.

Love,
Nicolle